Thanks for coming to my “How to Train for the Cotopaxi Volcano Base Camp/Glacier Climb” discussion! With my detailed plan you will learn how to tackle the hike up to the glacier at one of the tallest active volcanoes in the world and how to make the 2.6 mile round trip that takes you from 4,600 meters elevation to over 5,000 meters elevation.

First off, you are going to want to buy a StairMaster. Next, you are going to want to somehow attach sandboxes to the StairMaster steps and fill them with deep beach sand. I don’t know how you are going to do that, but you’ll figure it out. This way you will be prepared to not only climb up the mountain, but also through the loose and deep volcanic scree that comprises the majority of the hike.

Crank that bad boy up to a 40 degree incline to mimic Cotopaxi’s pitch, and not gradually either. It is straight up from the parking lot to the José Rivas Refuge base camp and eventually the glacier.

Now put this StairMaster into either a walk-in refrigerator, or you could buy a refrigerator truck and set it up in there. It ain’t warm on top of the volcano and you need to get ready.

Then, you are going to need to put on a n95 mask. This will help you train yourself to get accustomed to having less oxygen- ideally you need to only be able to have access to half the oxygen you normally would because that’s how much you’ll have on your actual climb.

Next you’ll need to get someone to hold a leaf blower during your training sessions. Have them aim it at you and turn this sucker on full blast. They can alternate blowing it directly at you, or sideways into you. Have them switch around to keep things interesting.

For the second half of your workout session you need to recruit another person to aggressively fling nugget ice at you (you can buy this from your local Chick-fil-A) and bonus points if they focus on your face. Alternatively, you can set up a wood chipper and have them feed blocks of ice into it. You want to be pelted directly and forcefully so that you’ll be conditioned to the rain, sleet, snow, and driving wind that you’ll experience on your hike.

You’ll want to dress warmly for this workout session (remember, you are in a reefer truck after all). Lots of layers, longjohns, waterproof jacket and pants, hat, and bulky gloves. Strap on the backpack that you’ll be wearing when you climb Cotopaxi too and don’t skimp out on the weight- don’t forget to pack your water bottle. Now, put a single quarter somewhere on your body. This can go in any of the pockets that you are wearing, or in your backpack. Now forget about it for a little bit- just try to put its location out of your mind.

Ok, now do your workout! You can choose your speed. (Don’t forget about the incline!)

Ok, now you need to hydrate. It is very important to hydrate to avoid altitude sickness. So every so often stop and figure out how to get your water bottle out of your bag. This will probably involve having to take off your gloves. This will also serve as a welcome little break. Ok, now repack your water bottle and hit “resume” on the StairMaster.
Do you have to pee yet? If not, stop and drink more water. You probably aren’t hydrated enough. If you don’t feel like you need to go, this means you are dehydrated.

Ok, if you are about 30 minutes into your workout and you need to pee, you may stop for a few minutes. Now is the time to pee. But first, remember that quarter that you stashed somewhere? You can’t go until you locate it and then give it to someone (have a friend fill in for the role of the potty patrol outside the bathroom). Have fun getting undressed with all your layers! Now, layer back up and continue on.

The next part of your workout should be done over rocks. Practice scrambling around and over them. Just for fun, you can make the ground wet and slick. Also practice walking over and through some muddy streams. Is your n95 mask on still? Go ahead and put another one over top of it. Practice getting even less oxygen.

Have someone hold a block of ice and then about 20 minutes after you stopped for a bathroom break, you may touch the ice and take pictures next to it. Practice looking happy, proud, and accomplished!

Ok, now hit “reverse” on your StairMaster, this way you can practice going down. Also, set up some marbles on a hard surface and try to walk over those every once in a while because you’ll want to practice this for getting experience for navigating the volcanic scree.

Walk for about 45 minutes in this manner.

Ok, workout completed! Aren’t you proud of yourself?! Now do it as many times as needed until you feel proficient.

Follow me for more helpful training tips!

So that gives you an idea of our Cotopaxi base camp hike. We made it to the glacier. I don’t know that I have ever felt a greater sense of being alive or a greater sense of accomplishment than I did that day and it was a rush. Scott called it summit fever.

We went with a group of nine other hikers plus our guide that was hired by Secret Garden Cotopaxi. He picked us up early that morning and we made the hour and a half drive over those insanely rough roads to get to Parque Nacional Cotopaxi, and it felt like it took another half hour of driving to get from the entrance of the park to the parking lot.

It was a “zero to 60” type scenario. Our guide asked us if we wanted do the easy or hard route, and I did not offer up an opinion, but someone must have because we did “hard.” This means we went straight up that 40 degree incline rather than taking the route that involves looping switchbacks. And you know what? It was fine, it really was.

There is a woman in her 60’s that we see every day at the YMCA when we are working out and she seriously spends nearly two hours a day on the treadmill. As we were huffing and puffing our way up, I kept thinking about her, and thinking that if she can do that, then so could I.

The weather was just as I described. It was insanely windy and alternated between rain and sleet. Thankfully we had our sunglasses on which helped protect our eyes.

Scott deserves a shout-out here. One of our fellow SGC hikers was a Dutch woman in her late 50’s, and it became apparent quite early on during our ascent that she was struggling with the steep slope and the altitude. Our guide hung back with her to be sure she was ok, and Scott offered to take her backpack to lighten her load as much as possible. She was able to make it to the base camp but it took her quite a while and she had to stop often.

We made it to the base camp in about 45 minutes, and in hindsight, I wish that we could have just kept on going at this point (after a potty break of course, and the whole pay-to-potty scenario played out just like I outlined), because I got cold while we hung out in the base camp. It was not particularly warm inside, and aside from offering a respite from the biting wind, it offered no comfort and just killed the rhythm.

The base camp to glacier leg was pretty intense because the footing changed. It was more hard- packed but with loose rocks over top that caused your feet to slide out unexpectedly from underneath you. There also was a little bit of rock scrambling that we had to do. I also learned something. I knew that mountain climbers strike out early on their hikes, and I never really thought about why that was until I got to experience it firsthand on this hike. It is because the sun’s light causes glacier melt and causes little streams and creeks to appear so the going gets sloppier and potentially more dangerous as the day goes on. (It also makes snow bridges more likely to collapse as the day gets warmer, although that didn’t apply to us.)

The descent was pretty easy once we got back near the base camp (aside from having to take another potty break- this one was NOT at the actual bathroom and rather occurred on the exposed mountain with the 30 mph winds whipping me) and Scott and I ended up taking some of the switchbacks for a bit.

When we got back to the van, we all piled in to warm up and wait for our Dutch friend. While we waited, someone spotted an Andean wolf that was hanging out in the parking lot and we were able to get surprisingly close to it and get pictures. I loved seeing it!

When our group reconvened we then made the long and bumpy ride back to Secret Garden Cotopaxi. On the drive out of the park we saw some Andean condors. Their claim to fame is being one of the largest flying birds in the world, with a wingspan of 10.5 feet, and they are the largest bird of prey.

Once back at SGC we were thrilled to see lunch awaiting us and dug in as soon as we had changed into dry clothes. Hiking up to the glacier had burned some serious calories and we quickly figured out why the SGC daily lunch offering was a hearty soup.

We figured there was no better time to go try out their thermal hot tub so we went and changed and headed to find it, hoping that it wouldn’t be too crowded. We were pleasantly surprised to find just one other person in it when we arrived, an Israeli woman that we had spoken with the day before. She was an army nurse that had been serving in Gaza for the last two years and she had understandably gotten to a point where she needed a break. She was traveling around Ecuador for several weeks as an antidote to everything she had witnessed over the last few years. We soaked and chatted and enjoyed swapping travel stories.

The hot tub was located in its own room that was a greenhouse of sorts, complete with all types of native tropical plants. SGC had placards posted that mentioned that if we heard a certain unusual and high pitched noise, that it was most likely their resident Andean marsupial tree frogs. Towards the end of our hot tub session we heard it. While they are admittedly cute, my frog/toad phobia isn’t that discerning, so this was my cue to wrap up my soak.

We showered, donned our complimentary ponchos, then parked ourselves on the loveseat near the fire. Just when I thought life couldn’t get any better, the invasion of the wiener dogs happened. The SGC owners had two Dachshund puppies and they jumped through the doggy door in front of us and came bombing into the building chasing each other. I was able to scoop up the male and have a brief snuggle with him before he wanted to be let down to keep chasing his sister.

Snack time came and more people started filtering into the common area. We enjoyed hearing about everyone’s adventures. Some people had summited Cotopaxi today and it was wild to hear about the low success rate (only 2 of 30) because of the conditions. They looked tired! Eventually it was dinner time and we chowed down on our hamburgers that had been cooked over the woodfire. I was equal parts high-on-life from reaching the glacier, and exhausted, so we decided to call it a night and shower then retire to the “BH.”