We knew in a vague sense that we would be in Thailand during the Chinese, or Lunar, New Year, but we didn’t fully grasp the scope of what exactly that meant. Scott, our itinerary and planning guru, had planned for us to go to Chinatown for the celebration. This very much was a “do the thing you’re supposed to do in the place you’re supposed to do it” as Bangkok’s Chinatown, aka Yaowarat, is the largest Chinatown in the world. So us deciding to just stroll over to it on Chinese New Year was roughly equivalent to wanting to just pop over to Times Square on our New Year’s Eve. In a word, nuts. And very very crowded.

We started off the day by sleeping in so that we would be rested heading into the festivities and the long haul flight home early the next morning, as well as to let Scott get as much rest as possible since he wasn’t feeling 100%. It was now his turn to take a soak in the balcony tub and for a guy that isn’t into baths, he sure did seem to enjoy it and was more than happy to pose with all sorts of props I threw his way.

He got out of the tub rejuvenated and we decided to go to Lumphini Park for a picnic and to hopefully be able to see some of the “lumphini lizards” that it is home to. Lumphini lizards are actually Asian water monitors and are close relatives of the Komodo dragon. We had seen them referenced in a lot of the YouTube videos about Bangkok that we had watched during our trip planning and were eager to see them in person; the idea of alligator sized reptiles roaming casually around a city park piqued our interest.

Our walk to the park took us through the beautiful Chulalongkorn University campus, or Chula University as it is more commonly known. The largest university in Thailand, its campus reminded us of a stateside school with its tree lined walkways, carefully tended gardens and lots of student activity. It hosts a medical school and we are hypothesizing that it’s because of this that the on campus outdoor food market that we visited gave the most nods to food handling safety that we had witnessed to date in Thailand. There might not have been any plastic gloves or hand washing going on but the vendors had erected a very crude sneeze-guard with saran wrap so there is that. Since this was our last day in Thailand we went a little crazy on buying Thai foods to try and got a little bit of this and a little bit of that from several stalls (all for just a few US dollars) to supply our picnic. I was hoping for some roti but unfortunately didn’t find any.

Armed with a boatload of food we then made it to Lumphini Park and had just crossed through the entrance gates when we spotted the first several foot long water monitor. We walked another few hundred feet in search of a picnic table and came across a whole group of the large lizards who were embroiled in a heated tussle over some sort of carcass. It was impressive to watch and I knew that I didn’t want to tangle with them. If they came for our picnic I knew that I would slowly back away and happily relinquish it to them. The longer we watched, the more lizards we saw. They seemed to be as common as squirrels and in fact, we saw no squirrels, probably because the lumphini lizards had eaten them.

We had our picnic and only ate a fraction of the food we had purchased but enjoyed sampling it all. We strolled around the park and saw several more lizards. Watching them swim in the ponds in the park reminded me of watching alligators swim and I knew that I had zero desire to ever swim or kayak in a body of water that they might also be occupying. When we’d had enough of the lumphini lizards we decided to retrace our steps through the Chula campus. We stopped for what would be our very last Thai smoothie and we sat on benches in the shade of giant sycamore trees savoring every sip. We headed back to The House of Papa and relaxed for a bit before we headed out for the evening’s festivities.

I would like to pause here and ask that if you ever hear me say that I would like to do some huge and iconic popular event in a crowded big city that attracts thousands of people, to please slap me upside the head and tell me that’s a terrible idea and that I’ll hate it. Also remind me that although I might think it’ll be fun and may even qualify as the thing to do in the place to do it, that I’ll probably find it too peopley and will be miserable. Especially if it’s in a country or culture where the idea of personal space doesn’t exist. Ok, let’s carry on.

So we went to Chinese New Year in Bangkok’s Chinatown. Us and tens of thousands of our closest Thai friends. It was about a 30 min walk and the closer we got to Yaowarat the more crowded it became.

Along the way it was fun to see all the teenage girls dressed in a modern take on Chinese style dresses posing for Instagram photoshoots in alleys, hundreds of red and yellow Chinese lanterns strung from building to building creating a dramatic decorative ceiling overhead, or near other picture worthy Chinese New Year symbols that were adorning the neighborhood. It was reminiscent of being in a downtown Greenville park or garden during prom season. Some phenomena are universal.

When we reached Yaowarat we joined a crowd that was gathered round a Jumbotron, some sort of livestream on its huge screen. After watching it for a few minutes we surmised that it was broadcasting some sort of ceremony and we eventually pieced together that it was members of the Thai royal family that were in a procession or formality of sorts. We then quickly realized that we were standing just a few meters away from where this exact ceremony was taking place and a few moments later we spotted who we would eventually learn was the Thai princess¹, Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn, the King of Thailand’s sister.

It turns out that the ceremony we were watching was the opening ceremony and was not only celebrating the Lunar New Year, but also 50 years of diplomatic relations between Thailand and China. We had front row seats. We were DOING THE THING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE PLACE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IT. We had Forest Gumped our way into seeing Thai royalty while in Thailand.

This was novel for about five minutes and then it started to get more and more peopley. It turns out that the buffet experience from the dinner cruise yesterday was just a warmup for this crowd. I could have gone home a happy girl at this point, but oh no, Scott wanted us to press onwards and into the thick of things. And by “into the thick of things” I mean, he wanted us to cross through the slow moving 20 car Royal Thai Family Police vehicular procession so that we could continue our immersive Lunar New Year in Chinatown experience. The Royal Thai Family police detail didn’t think tourists should be doing that, and as several people darted in between the souped up Mercedes sedans and SUV’s they indicated (very clearly and universally) NOT to do that. By that point Scott had already run the gauntlet and darted through, leaving poor little rule following me on the other side of the procession with hordes of people pressing into me and jostling for position. We were now separated. Eventually I found an opening when a Thai guard turned away and I nervously made my move. Thankfully reuniting us. To be honest, I’m not sure Scott even knew I was gone (he says yes, he was aware).

The most enjoyable part of this paradish situation was watching the vibrant and iconic Chinese dancing paper dragons. They are thought to bring good fortune and happiness and are an integral part of the Lunar New Year tradition; the longer the dragon dances the more good fortune he brings.

And now Scott wanted us to go further into Chinatown… because he wanted to see Chinatown. The crowds became thicker and thicker. There wasn’t much to see other than a sea of people. We eventually found spots along the road to wait to catch another glimpse of the Thai Princess. Human bodies squished and bumped into me and I could suddenly see how people have panic attacks. I wanted space! I eventually adopted a widened stance with my legs, hands on hips, and elbows sticking out, in an attempt to protect my personal space, and… it didn’t work. I then just refused to budge when people would try to push into me and this worked better. My American sized frame gave me a distinct advantage. But I still couldn’t see much. Scott, at six feet tall, stood nearly a head above the other Thai parade goers and we later joked that he could simply stand up tall, or “deploy his Bouch-scope” and be able to have a clear view of the surrounds.

At this point I must have been whiny enough that Scott finally listened and agreed that we could leave the epicenter of the celebration. We headed back out of the chaos and towards our hotel with the intention of finding somewhere to eat dinner. (I had nixed his idea of having dinner in Chinatown- that would be like deciding to have dinner in Times Square at 11:45 pm on December 31st.) I was still holding out for roti, but sadly we never found any, and instead found a Korean chicken sit-down restaurant. They supplied plastic gloves for you to don to consume your fried chicken neatly and this pleased me greatly. Greasy chicken aside, Asia being the favorite spot for a good global pandemic to pop up and all that.

We were now in the final stretch of our Thai adventure and decided that our last real Thai food here should be mango sticky rice for dessert. We had no trouble finding a place that had this common treat and popped inside. It was glorious and we savored every bite. Bellies uncomfortably full we walked the last little bit back to the House of Papa and packed up in preparation for our flight home tomorrow (after showering of course since we had been around such a huge crowd and we know what a germaphobe I am).

I booked a Grab for an insanely early time in the morning and it seems like we had just laid our heads down on our pillows when the alarm was going off. We stumbled out of bed, got dressed, packed our last few belongings, turned the light off, and reluctantly walked down the four flights of stairs. We knew that our trip was over and we were sad to be leaving such a magnificent land filled with some of the friendliest people on the planet; the land of smiles.